You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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