sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
