Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
