That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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