Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
being pregnant is like rehab
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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