I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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