I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
