I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she told me i tasted like america
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
