Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
