she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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