problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am one with the molecules
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
