Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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