My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize