I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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