therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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