real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
