I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
