remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
