I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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