i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
