STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
