So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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