thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
