White coat. Heels.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
