i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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