how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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