I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
