Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
