didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
