Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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