There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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