Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
