just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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