i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
