We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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