I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just had sex on a roof
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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