I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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