he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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