There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
