so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
4 words: hood of his car
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
