this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
