Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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