Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
