Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
