Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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