At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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