sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
