You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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