Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
