Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
