I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
