I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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