mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize