Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
