miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
