and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
