I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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