I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize