Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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