Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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