Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
