I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize