If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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