check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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