Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
