dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Mom said you looked used
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
