I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
