what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
