I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
