office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
