Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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